I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
