is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
