Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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