btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
