while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
