I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
