Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize