you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
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I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
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Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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