i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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