i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
