Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
