So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
