Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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