so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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