He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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