Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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