batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
