i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
