lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
