I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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