hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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