sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
