oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
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pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
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Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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