roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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