This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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