The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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