Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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