Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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