yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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