I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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