So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
