He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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