ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
