I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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