Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I would fuck him just for his dog
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
True college students do jello shots in the library
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
