From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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