How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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