Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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