Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
