Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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