it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
