Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's blow job season.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
