i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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