You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
