if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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