even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
