guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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