She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
