i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
