I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize