I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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