my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
