if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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