you guys were way drunker than both of me
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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