Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
