genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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