Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
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It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
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I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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