when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
