at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
