We're facebook friends in real life
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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