Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
