At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
