chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Your cock deserves a montage
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
