bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
