you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
