you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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