real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
