well you can't waste a boner
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
