i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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